A Love Letter to our Testers

An open love letter to our testers, official or otherwise:

Dear Testers,

Without you, we wouldn’t have the base we have.  The ability for you to systematically break the code within 30 seconds of having it in your eager-beaver paws astounds me to no end.  You, as an individual and a group, have found a way to warp the laws of physics and sometimes break things before we actually release it to you for testing.  Yes, we hold you accountable for things that go wrong, but not in a negative way!  No, we need your child-like innocence and the way you flash ROMs like a meth-addicted Chihuahua going through the D-Ts while listening to Gayane Suite #3 (look it up, give a listen).  We want you.  We need you.

We forgive you for the ADHD way you skip from ROM to ROM – the over-caffeinated hummingbird in a field of honey-suckles.  We depend on this; Indeed, we actively seek it out.  It’s considered a defining characteristic in our catalog of desirable traits.  We only ask that you forgive us when you come calling, Oliver-like, for “s`more, sir” and we have nothing to give.  We don’t mean to come off like we’re smacking the bowl from your hands.  It takes time, and our attention gets divided between various devices, trying to make sure they get the attention they need.  We don’t play favorites, it just seems like it at times.  It’s just easier to build and test for a device we physically have, if for no other reason than it is quicker for us to identify a known issue when we have the device in-hand.  It isn’t a slight against your device, and we still <3 you.  Promise!

Now, to a slightly more serious area of concern.

We understand you do this on your own time, with a device you paid for and that probably means the world to you.  I know, personally, I’d mourn the loss of my phone more than, say, that county-fair goldfish I won at the ring-toss.  That speaks volumes that I’d put the inanimate device above the live ‘thing’, no matter how insignificant.  This is true, even if it lasts more than the 48-hours you’d expect before that “burial at sea”.  We do this on our own time too, and time is precious.


 You do this voluntarily.  You want the newest we offer and you do it selfishly to get the goods.  This isn’t an issue for us, we aren’t monogamous and never expect to be.  We just ask that you don’t act like a petulant 4 year old refusing to eat their green-beans if we ask you to test and you’re off playing in someone else’s sand garden.  Telling us you don’t want to test because you consider it a “downgrade” from the preview version of whatever latest ROM is out isn’t the way to make friends and influence people, especially when directed at the person who just spent 4 hours trying to make it work for the device you own.

No harm, no foul.  Just understand how it looks from our end.  If you can’t test it, you can’t test it.  However, understand that if you are unable to consistently test, then no matter how much we like you as a person, your usefulness in what we need you for goes away.  This isn’t a slight, just the reality that we rely on you to test so we know when its good to send out the release to the world.   And, it’s not just us!  The OctOs loving public relies on you to ensure the releases are safe and stable as possible.  They trust us, and you, to not brick their device.  Don’t take that lightly.

So to the Testers – Thank You! We seriously couldn’t do this without you, and wouldn’t want to try.

To those in the U.S. about to celebrate their holiday weekend, please be safe and have fun!  Canadian’s have Epic Meal Time’s The SharpShooter,  but we blow things up for fun.  Remember, it is very hard to hardware key into Recovery when you’re missing fingers.

– Grommish